Two types

Today's 100 words:

There are two types of people in this world: those who are never late and those who are. I fall into the former category; my husband falls into the latter. This morning, the hubs had an 8 a.m. appointment at a car repair shop about fifteen minutes away. He left the house at 7:58. I suggested that maybe he should call on the way and tell them he'd be late, but he wasn't interested in that. "Oh, they won't care," he said. I disagree. I'm just glad I didn't have to go with him. My anxiety would probably kill me.

Truth

Today's 100 words:

He told her he doesn't love her, that he never has, that he never should have dated her, certainly never should have married her, that their two children were not conceived in love but in pity, pity for a wife who loved too much, so much that his heart ached even though he looked at her much of the time and hated her, hated her personality and the things she said, hated being in the same room with her, and he told her yesterday that he's not going to pretend anymore, pretend to love her, pretend to love their life together.

They hear

"You fight about money, 'bout me and my brother..." P!NK, "Family Portrait"

Mommy and Daddy yelled at each other in the car yesterday. They were smiling and talking before we left our house, but by the time we got to the costume store, their voices had turned into angry whispers, and then they got louder and louder. Mommy even said a bad word. I didn't understand that or why they were screaming. They always tell Jana and me not to fight; they put us in time-out if we do. What's happening to them? What will happen to us? I'm scared.

Stalker

Today's 100 words:

He'd been stalking her Facebook page for more than a year, checking every day to see what she was doing and who her friends were. Each time he breathed a sigh of relief to find that she didn't appear to be dating anyone. Even though they hadn't been together for years--even though he was now married--he knew that seeing her gush about another man would crush him.

He was right. Last week he saw those words, felt her excitement through the lines. His heart splintered as he remembered what they'd had and what might have been.

The right path

Today's 100 words:

I wonder if there will ever be a time in my life when I feel like I'm on the right path. Since the days leading up to the end of my first marriage, I've often felt lost, searching. But how can I ever know for sure if the decisions I'm making are the right ones? I heard someone on television last night say that she never thought her life would be the way it is. I nodded when she said that. I never thought that mine would either: married, divorced, remarried, so many mistakes along the way. Who can know?

Even better than living my dream

As a child, I dreamed of the day I'd become a mother, but on the day I discovered I was pregnant with my son, all I felt was apprehension.

I think a small part of that apprehension probably stemmed from the fact that I was a slightly older first-time mom: I was thirty-four when my son was born and thirty-six when my daughter arrived. I realize that many women are waiting until their thirties and even later to have children, but most of my friends had had their kids in their twenties, so compared to them, I felt ancient.

The larger reason for my trepidation was fear. In all of my daydreams about motherhood, I had never envisioned myself being single and pregnant. I had pictured the white house with the picket fence, the successful career, the husband--and then the children. But that vision didn't turn out to be my reality. My life ending up taking a different path that meandered through marriage and divorce, then a move across the country to be with a man I had met in a chat room online. I moved in with him in November of 2004, and our surprise son made himself known in June of 2006. So even though I wasn't truly single--I was with a man that I loved and would marry in just a few months time--on the day I found out I was pregnant I felt single, and that was scary. I don't know if that will make much sense to anyone on the outside looking in, but for my life to have veered so far from the course I had set out on was terrifying for me. I welcomed the pregnancy, but the questions still nagged at me: What happened to my plan? Where did my life get off track? How did I end up here?

As my pregnancy progressed, however, much of my fear disappeared. I loved being pregnant; it had been my dream for so long. And when my son was born by emergency C-section on February 21, 2007, I couldn't have been happier or felt more blessed. I don't even know how to describe the peace and overwhelming love that came over me when I was finally able to hold him, the sense of comfort, the certainty that everything was going to be all right.

Even though my life didn't take the path I had dreamed it would--and perhaps no one's life does--I'm grateful to have gone through all the things that brought me where I am today. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids. Things happened differently than I thought they would, but I'm now living a life that's better than anything I ever dreamed.