Often when I write, all I can see are what I perceive as flaws. I'll think that the writing doesn't flow as it should, that my dialogue sounds stilted, that my characters are two-dimensional, and, perhaps worst of all, that my idea just isn't any good--that it's boring, redundant, or unbelievable. I don't even know for sure how many stories I've started and then abandoned because my inner critic told me that my writing was just no good.
Recently, however, I was going through some boxes and unearthed a hard copy of a novel that I had started about a year ago. It was yet another in that long line of stories that my inner critic convinced me were going nowhere. I admit that I began reading it with trepidation: I wasn't sure I wanted to know just how bad it was. I read the first paragraph. To my surprise, it wasn't bad at all. In fact, I found it engaging, and aside from some sentences that I would probably structure differently had I written them now, overall, I found the story idea to be sound and--dare I say it?--interesting. Setting the story aside for all that time had give me the perspective I needed to see that, although some revisions need to be made, the idea itself is sound. Perhaps more importantly, I learned that my inner critic, while sometimes helpful, is not always right.
These may seem like simple lessons, and perhaps they are. However, every writer knows that her inner critic is powerful, and making a discovery like this one returns to the writer what she thought she had lost: her confidence.
Another beautiful entry to which I so, so deeply relate! "I learned that my inner critic, while sometimes helpful, is not always right." This is something I'm struggling to remember every day. My inner critic tends to see everything that is--or might be--wrong, without seeing a thing that's been done satisfactorily.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. I had abandoned that novel for that very reason: my inner critic saw only the "bad" but didn't allow me to see that there were some good things about the writing as well. You're right--it is a struggle.
ReplyDeleteI recently wrote a post about my inner critic. His name is Agent 36 and he's half bureaucrat/half demon. Oh sure, he might be helpful when editing comes around (though he still tends to criticize over much) but he can be murder when I'm writing. I found that really taking a good look at him shut him up quite nicely. LOL
ReplyDeleteIt's like a time capsule - sometimes those things are so much more interesting and bring back great thoughts when you see them again. And it doesn't even have to be very long! (Queries are like that too)
ReplyDeleteSonia: I love the idea of name the inner critic and really examining him instead of trying to ignore his annoying voice. I'll definitely try that since it's been impossible for me to push him away. He needs to shut up! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteTara: You're right--reading past work really is like taking a look at a time capsule. That's a good point to keep in mind for the times when my inner critic tells me that my writing is horrible: what's seems horrible one day might actually be pretty good, but I need time to give me the right perspective.
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