Thursday, February 3, 2011

No joke

I used to joke about my "addiction" to chocolate. That's how I would talk about it--with air quotes. But I've realized recently that my "addiction" really is an addiction. I have been eating chocolate every day since I was pregnant with my daughter, who is now almost nineteen months old. And I'm not talking about small amounts of chocolate--a Hershey's Kiss or two, a couple of squares from a candy bar... No, I'll eat a half-pound of Hershey's Kisses or an entire candy bar (maybe even two, and maybe even king-sized). All at once. At one sitting.

It's actually a little hard to admit I have this problem. I use chocolate as my drug of choice when I'm stressed out. Anytime things start to get to me, I reach for the chocolate, and I really do feel better after consuming it. The other night, I sent my husband to the store for chocolate (my poor, tired husband who had just gotten home from work), and when he asked me what kind, I said, "I'm still on Hershey's Kisses." And it wasn't until I said that, that I was on a certain type of chocolate, that I really understood how dependent on it I am. It was scary to hear myself say those words, but I realized that they're true.

It's really a miracle that I don't weigh two hundred pounds. So far, the chocolate hasn't affected my weight, but  I do wonder what it's doing to my health. I need to try to cut back, but honestly, the thought panics me. I need my chocolate. There's really no substitute for me, and I don't know how to deal with stress without it.

"Hi. My name is Dana, and I'm addicted to chocolate."


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