The one where Dana admits something

Finding my way... Photo courtesy of Mirna Sentic,
rgbstock.com

Happy Monday, friends.

I think it's finally time I admit something to you all—and to myself.

I'm not Superwoman.

I've always put a lot of pressure on myself to balance the many roles I play in my life: mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, blogger, writer, artist, etc. Up until just before my baby was born, I felt like I was holding on to all of these strings pretty well. I'm not anymore. I've let some of them slip—and I feel like a failure.

You might have noticed that I haven't posted in the last several weeks. I've tried so hard, but I can't seem to find a balance anymore, and my blogging (among other things) has fallen by the wayside. I can't keep up.

About a month ago, a fellow blogger asked me to help her out with a blog hop. I wanted to help, but I just couldn't. This person has been such a good friend to me, and I'm so sad that I had to let her down. That's not like me, and I feel terrible. I'm sorry for that.

I also apologize to those of you who read my blog. I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'm still searching for a groove, some way to fit all the elements of my life together, all of the roles I play. There's no reason I can't blog and be a mother—I've done that for many years—but after my third child was born, I lost my way and haven't yet found it again.

I guess I'm not Superwoman, even though I'd like to be.

I can promise this: I'll try to be around more, although I can't say when. (And I hate to admit that.)

One thing is for certain, however:

I will be back.

Wishing you all a beautiful Monday and a wonderful week. ☺

Oh, baby!

Happy Monday, friends. It's so good to be back. I can't tell you how much I've missed you all! ☺

I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. Life threw me a couple of curveballs (both good and bad) right after my August vacation, and since then I've been having a hard time getting back into the social media habit. I've been quite the reluctant recluse for the past few months, but I'm so excited to join you all again!

So what's been up with me? Well, if you don't mind, I think I'll leave out the bad. The good, though, is amazing. In August I learned that I'm pregnant! The news was a big (and welcome) surprise! I'm a little more than fifteen weeks along right now, and although I'm very excited, I'm also a little nervous. It's been more than four years since I had my youngest child. Yikes!

Oh, baby!
Image courtesy of Marja Flick-Buijs, rgbstock.com

Today is the first day in months that I haven't felt like crawling back into bed the moment I got up. Pregnancy this time around is very different; it's definitely an adjustment. I have a lot less energy, take a lot of naps, clean only when absolutely necessary, and don't cook nearly as often as I used to. It's all I can do some days just to keep up with the kids. I've also been working on making room for one more person in this tiny house. I see a rummage sale in my future—or lots of trips to Goodwill. ☺

Thank you for all your kind comments, e-mails, and tweets. I hadn't been online much, so I didn't have a chance to read many of them until this past weekend. I'm so grateful for them all—and I'm so happy to be back!


Wishing you all a fantastic Monday. ☺

Y is for Yawp

Happy Monday!

Throughout this challenge, I've been posting about the many things that inspire me. I'm excited to reach the letter Y because the word I've chosen for today, yawp, holds a very special meaning.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that this post—with a few changes—is the same one I used for Y during last year's Blogging from A to Z Challenge. I did write a new Y post to use this year, but I wasn't very happy with it. Since my A to Z theme is inspiration, I decided to go with the post that inspired me most. ☺

A yawp is a raucous noise, a yell. Children are, of course, masters of the yawp. Like all kids, mine love to be loud and boisterous and often exercise this love from the moment they wake up until the moment they lay their heads down at night. Yawp can also be used in reference to clamoring and complaining, which I'm sure describes us all from time to time. I heard the word used in this sense more than once when I was growing up: "Dana, quit your yawping and clean up your room." (I never thought I'd one day be saying the same thing to my own kids!)

However, the yawp I want to write about today is a different kind of yawp—it's the barbaric yawp that American poet Walt Whitman described in his "Song of Myself":

I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,

I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

Who can forget that wonderful scene in Dead Poet's Society where English professor John Keating (played by Robin Williams) encourages his timid student (Todd Anderson, played by Ethan Hawke) to find his yawp--that indefinable something that lives inside each of us, waiting to be given its voice. In this clip, Todd hasn't been able to complete his assignment, which was to write a poem, and Mr. Keating uses Whitman's idea of the barbaric yawp to help Todd express himself through poetry in a way Todd had never thought possible:



I cry nearly every time I watch this scene. I used to teach college English, and I hope that I was able to inspire at least one student the way that Mr. Keating inspired Todd, showing him that not only does he have a barbaric yawp but he can express it--and needs to express it. We all do.

I, too, sound my barbaric yawp. I sound it each time I write a poem, and I sound it here. This blog is my barbaric yawp, my conduit for expressing myself. It's where I give voice to that something deep inside me that aches to be heard. Every time I post, I sound my barbaric yawp across the blogosphere.

We all do.

And I think Mr. Keating—and Mr. Whitman—would be proud.

What's your barbaric yawp? What have you chosen to give voice to today?


**My daily haiku is up at the Pulitzer Remix site. You can find it here. Thanks again to all of you who have been reading and commenting. I'm honored to be participating in the Remix, and your support means so much.


Wishing you all a beautiful Monday. ☺

The one about the missing blogger

I'm not missing anymore!

I apologize that I haven't been around much lately. Some of you know that I've been going through a rough time in my personal life, and I haven't felt very motivated to write. I'm happy to report, though, that things are much better now—amazingly better! Thank you for your e-mails, thoughts, and prayers. I truly appreciate them. I'm back to blogging now, and I'm excited to catch up with all of you!

And now, because today feels like a Monday to me since both my son and my husband were home yesterday—and also because I just really like this song—here's the Bangles with "Manic Monday." Wishing you all a calm and peaceful day!

Saying thank you isn't enough

I'm finally back!

Image courtesy of sundesigns, rgbstock.com

It was a difficult few weeks, but I'm happy to say that everything turned out much, much better than I could have expected. I don't have enough words for how grateful I am for your comments, thoughts, e-mails, and prayers. It meant so much to know that others cared and were thinking of me, and I know it was that—and faith—that made the situation easier to get through. Thank you so much.

I'm happy to be back on my blog, and I'm looking forward to posting again—it's been a while! However, for a couple of reasons, I'm going to be easing my way back to daily blogging. As some of you probably know, my son will be starting kindergarten in the fall. He'll be attending all day, every day, which of course is something this mom isn't really ready to think about, much less deal with! (I'll probably cry for days.) I had wanted to spend the summer doing fun things with him and his little sister, but several situations and events prevented me from doing as much with them as I would have liked. There's a little over a month left until school starts, so my plan is to spend more time doing things with the kids, which will, sadly, leave me with a little less time for blogging.

I'm also participating in Camp NaNoWriMo this month. I'm using it to jump-start my memoir project, which I've put on the back burner for far too long. I'll spend part of the month transcribing interview notes and conducting more interviews (and then transcribing those as well). Once I see what I have to work with, I hope to get a good start on putting it all together. This project has been pretty daunting, but I'm hoping that Camp NaNo will help give me the momentum I need.

So although I may not post every day this month—(or maybe I will; who knows what the weeks will hold?)—I still plan on posting several times a week. I love blogging—it's one of my favorite outlets—and I love connecting with other people through their blogs. I'm looking forward to catching up with all of you!

Regardless of what happens with my posting this month, I'll be back full force once life settles down a little in the fall. Thank you for being patient with me and for everything you did these past several weeks. I appreciate it all more than I can say.

(And it definitely feels good to be writing again!)

Gone fishin'



On the road again...
Photo by Kim Newberg, courtesy of Public Domain Pictures

By some miracle, I managed to finish packing, and hubby, the kids, the dog, and I are now on our way to see my parents.

Okay, that's not entirely true. I'm actually writing this post at 1:46 a.m. as I wait for my ninth of eleven loads of laundry to dry. I'm surrounded by half-packed suitcases and a long list of things I still need to do. But no matter. I'm optimistic that my first sentence will be true by the time you read this post. ☺

I'm also writing to let you know that I probably won't be posting during my vacation. I'll be staying with my parents, who have neither a working computer nor Internet access, and I don't own a laptop (yet. Every time my husband asks me what I want for Mother's Day, Christmas, my birthday, whatever, I always mention a laptop. Someday...)

Anyway, I'm going to try to get in a trip or two to the library, and if I do, I'll definitely post here and visit your blogs. I'm not sure how likely it is that I'll get to a computer, but I will try. (I can't stay unplugged for long!) So I hope you can forgive my two-week absence here and at your blogs. I'm looking forward to catching up when I get back!

Happy Sunday! See you soon. ☺

Y is for Yawp

Throughout this challenge, I've been posting about my favorite things--things that are important to me, things that inspire me, things that make me smile. I'm excited to have reached the letter Y because the word I've chosen for today, yawp, holds a very special meaning.

A yawp is a raucous noise, a yell. Children are, of course, masters of the yawp. Like all kids, mine love to be loud and boisterous and often exercise this love from the moment they wake up until the moment they lay their heads down at night. Yawp can also be used in reference to clamoring and complaining, which I'm sure describes us all from time to time. I heard the word used in this sense more than once when I was growing up: "Dana, quit your yawping and clean up your room." (I never thought I'd one day be saying the same thing to my own kids!)

However, the yawp I want to write about today is a different kind of yawp--it's the barbaric yawp that American poet Walt Whitman described in his "Song of Myself":

I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,

I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

Who can forget that wonderful scene in Dead Poet's Society where English professor John Keating (played by Robin Williams) encourages his timid student (Todd Anderson, played by Ethan Hawke) to find his yawp--that indefinable something that lives inside each of us, waiting to be given its voice. In this clip, Todd hasn't been able to complete his assignment, which was to write a poem, and Mr. Keating uses Whitman's idea of the barbaric yawp to help Todd express himself through poetry in a way Todd had never thought possible:



I cry nearly every time I watch this scene. I used to teach college English, and I hope that I was able to inspire at least one student the way that Mr. Keating inspired Todd, showing him that not only does he have a barbaric yawp but he can express it--and needs to express it. We all do.

I, too, sound my barbaric yawp. This blog is my barbaric yawp, my conduit for expressing myself. It's where I give voice to that something deep inside me that aches to be heard. Every time I post, I sound my barbaric yawp across the blogosphere.

We all do.

And I think Mr. Keating--and Mr. Whitman--would be proud.



What's your barbaric yawp? What have you chosen to give voice to today?

It's almost time!

The Blogging from A to Z Challenge starts tomorrow. This will be my first year participating, and I can say that I feel heavy doses of both nervousness and excitement: nervousness because, well, I haven't even begun to come up with topics for each letter, and excitement because who wouldn't be excited to take part in such a fun challenge and get to know other A to Z bloggers!

Are you participating this year? Do you have your topics planned or, like me, do you plan to wing it?

Blog awards!

Many thanks to the wonderful Caitlin at All About Growing Up and Becoming a Famous Author, who recently passed on some blog awards to me: The Versatile Blogger and The Irresistibly Sweet Blogger. Make sure you check out her blog; she's incredibly funny and encouraging!

So now it's time for me to pass on these awards to others and share seven random facts about myself. Here we go:

1. I'm a binge cleaner. I do the necessary daily chores like dishes and laundry, but I don't do the real cleaning until I know I'm going to have company. Guess what? My friend is visiting this week...

2.  I used to be a college instructor, but my dream job for when both of my kids are in school is to work at a library or bookstore. I just love the idea of being surrounded by books all day!

3. I love taking a big spoon of peanut butter and dipping it into a dish of chocolate chips. (My mom started me on this when I was a kid. Thanks, Mom!)

4. Don't ask me to choose! I have a horrible time making decisions, even simple ones.

5. I love to make soup. It's freezing here today, so tonight I'm trying a recipe for butternut squash soup.

6. One of my favorite TV shows of all time is Felicity. I once saw Scott Speedman (he played Ben) sitting on a stoop in NYC. To this day, I'm kicking myself for not talking to him.

7. I've been watching Gossip Girl on Netflix for months. It's my guilty pleasure. I love the drama!

And now I'm passing on these awards to two of the many blogs I really enjoy:

1. April at A Writer's Ramblings
2. Shannon at Books Devoured

Have fun!

In the game again

It's true what they say about vacations: you need one to recuperate from the one you just took. Ever since we arrived home late Saturday night, I've been unpacking, doing laundry, cleaning, and taking the kids to appointments and storytime. Yesterday I even managed to catch up on some of my writing. (Yay!) I've been busy.

And I am exhausted.

Returning home from vacation is always difficult for me. If I could, I would move back to Michigan, back to my small town with its small-town way of life. I don't dislike living in a large city--I certainly appreciate all of the opportunities living here presents to me and my family--but I miss the atmosphere of a smaller town and the sense of community and belonging that usually goes along with it.

And then there's my family. We've always been close, and it's hard to be away from them, especially when I know I can see them only once a year. I wrote a 100-words entry about this shortly after arriving back home:

I've been back in New York for only two days, yet I'm already homesick. Although I can think of many good things about living in a large city, I still miss the small town I grew up in. Mostly, though, I miss my family. Neither my husband nor I have relatives close by, and that's really a lonely feeling. I'm not the type of person who has a large circle of friends, and even though I've made one close friend since moving here--a friend I would miss so much if she weren't in my life--the loneliness doesn't subside.

But enough of the sad stuff. What I'm happy about is being back here, blogging and interacting with my online friends! It was hard to be away for so long, and I'm very glad to be back to the world of writing.

So what's up next for me and my blog? More writing and more writing about writing--just more of doing what I love.

And I can't wait.