The one where Dana admits something

Finding my way... Photo courtesy of Mirna Sentic,
rgbstock.com

Happy Monday, friends.

I think it's finally time I admit something to you all—and to myself.

I'm not Superwoman.

I've always put a lot of pressure on myself to balance the many roles I play in my life: mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, blogger, writer, artist, etc. Up until just before my baby was born, I felt like I was holding on to all of these strings pretty well. I'm not anymore. I've let some of them slip—and I feel like a failure.

You might have noticed that I haven't posted in the last several weeks. I've tried so hard, but I can't seem to find a balance anymore, and my blogging (among other things) has fallen by the wayside. I can't keep up.

About a month ago, a fellow blogger asked me to help her out with a blog hop. I wanted to help, but I just couldn't. This person has been such a good friend to me, and I'm so sad that I had to let her down. That's not like me, and I feel terrible. I'm sorry for that.

I also apologize to those of you who read my blog. I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'm still searching for a groove, some way to fit all the elements of my life together, all of the roles I play. There's no reason I can't blog and be a mother—I've done that for many years—but after my third child was born, I lost my way and haven't yet found it again.

I guess I'm not Superwoman, even though I'd like to be.

I can promise this: I'll try to be around more, although I can't say when. (And I hate to admit that.)

One thing is for certain, however:

I will be back.

Wishing you all a beautiful Monday and a wonderful week. ☺

Kids do say the cutest things

In honor of Valentine's Day, I want to share this adorable video created by Lumineux Films for Small Fry Blog. In it, twenty-six children share their views on things like love, kissing, dating, and, of course, Valentine's Day—all with a child's characteristic candor. Enjoy!



Wishing you a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Wordless Wednesday

Snow, seen through the eyes of my 3-year-old daughter.

 

"All things in this world must be seen with youthful, hopeful eyes." ~Henry David Thoreau

 

Six-word Saturday

Wish I could freeze-frame these days.

My children are three and five. I love these ages! They're both so curious and fun, and the things they say are often so wise (and sometimes hilarious). We have such a good time together.

While I know that each stage of a child's life has beautiful moments, sometimes I wish I could freeze time right now, during these wonderful, early childhood days.

Wishing you a weekend of marvelous memories!
 

So very rich



Image courtesy of Kevin Tuck, rgbstock.com


Home is a nice place today—and not just because I've been cleaning it in anticipation of visitors later this week.

When I woke up this morning, life seemed bright, brighter than it's seemed in a long time, and when I walked around the house opening doors and windows to let in the early morning breeze, I was reminded of how lucky I am to live here—to have this place to sleep and eat and dream, this safe building in which to raise my kids and watch them grow (too quickly) into adults.

There have been times I've wished for wealth and a mansion, but this morning's blessed peacefulness reminds me yet again that I'm already very rich.

Q is for Quiet, Quotations, and Qualtagh (Oh, my!)

The letter Q has far more to offer than I ever thought! Here are three Q words I love:


Quiet:

Photo by Maria Shemesh
Courtesy of Public Domain Pictures

I crave quiet time. A few years ago, right about the time my second child was born, I started getting up before everyone else in the house, just so I could spend an hour or two alone. (Luckily, I've been blessed with children who started sleeping through the night at a young age.) I use this time away from everyone to read and write and just enjoy quiet moments of "me" time, with no one asking where the car keys are or demanding that I make pancakes for breakfast or find the missing Hello Kitty sock. I admit that some mornings I'm tired and it's all I can do to get out of bed at 5:30 or 6 a.m., but I know that if I don't have that time to myself, the rest of my day won't feel quite right. What helps on those eyes-won't-quite-open days? Coffee, of course!

What about you?  Do you crave time alone? How do you fit "me" time into your life?

Quotations:



Photo by Petr Kratochvil
Courtesy of Public Domain Pictures

Ever since I was in college, I've been a quotation collector. I have a huge list now, and I sometimes refer to it when I need writing prompts or just a new perspective on my day. Following are a few of my favorites. Some are about writing and poetry, and others are about life. All of them, at least to me, are inspiring. (You can find these and other quotations at The Quote Garden.)

• This one gives me hope on days when following my writing dream seems hopeless: 

"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible." ~ Vladimir Nabokov, Russian novelist, poet, and short story writer

• And this one gives me the courage to push through, even when I feel like nothing I write will ever be good enough:

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the guts to do it and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." ~ Sylvia Plath, American poet, novelist, and short story writer

• There's something beautiful about this truth:

"Poetry is life distilled." ~ Gwendolyn Brooks, American poet

• And this one illustrates what I think is a fun truth:

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone."  ~ Reba McEntire, American country music artist and actress

• And how could I leave out this life quotation from one of my favorite poems:

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." ~ T. S. Eliot, American-born poet, publisher, playwright, and critic, in "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"


Do we share any of the same favorites? What quotations do you find inspiring?


Qualtagh:

I couldn't resist this word. It's a new one for me, one I discovered while I was searching online for all things Q. According to The Phrontistery, a qualtagh is "the first person encountered after leaving home on a special day." Other sources define it as  "the first individual a person meets after exiting his or her house."

Interesting, right? I never would have imagined a word existed for that!


My qualtagh today was a sales associate at Barnes & Noble. Who was yours?


See you tomorrow with the letter R!

N is for Noodle Nostalgia

Grandma was a great cook. I remember Sunday meals and holidays at her house: turkey, ham, pork and beef roasts, mashed potatoes and gravy, lemon meringue and pumpkin pies--everything delicious and made from scratch.

Photo by Donna Cosmato
Courtesy of Public Domain Pictures

I think more than anything else, I loved the noodles she would make at the old, blue-topped table in her kitchen. They were the best tasting noodles I've ever eaten, and the memories I have of helping her make them are some of the most precious ones I have.

I would watch, spellbound, as she sifted flour and mounded it on the table, then made a hollow and added eggs, a little oil, a pinch of salt. My awkward child-hands would help beat the eggs, gradually mixing them with the flour, and then I would watch as she started kneading the dough, working it for a while before stepping back and letting me take a turn--pushing and folding, pushing and folding for what seemed like years but was probably no more than ten minutes. My arms would ache--a good ache--and I'd ask Grandma to take over, knowing that soon it would be time for my favorite part of noodle making: cutting the dough with the little pasty wheel.

Grandma would flour the table, then roll out the dough before handing me the wheel. She'd watch as I cut, letting me know if my noodles were too thick or too thin. Sometimes they were just right! When I'd finish cutting, she'd help me pick up the noodles and hang them over the backs of her toweled-covered orange kitchen chairs to dry. Later there would be homemade chicken soup simmering on the stove, and those noodles would always be the best part.

Grandma died on September 16, 2010. She was 95 years old. My kids didn't really have the chance to get to know her, but I hope that one day I can show them what she taught me and tell them just how special their great-grandma was.


Do you have any beloved memories of time you shared with someone who's no longer living?

G is for Grace

Grace is a beautiful word, both in its sound and in its meanings. It can describe fluidity and charm--She skated gracefully across the ice--as well as kindness and pardon--He was saved by the governor's act of grace. It can also describe ummerited mercy and forgiveness, which I think is its most powerful definition, especially when I think of the word in terms of Easter. It's not always easy to extend grace to others, especially when I feel they don't deserve it, but it's one of the most important concepts I can teach my children.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter!

On books and time

Today's 100 words:

Last Wednesday, I took my kids to the library, as I try to do at least once a week. They wanted to go to the one they call the "tent library" because it features a small tent in the children's section that they both love to play in. While there, I picked up a huge stack of books for all of us and was excited to find a novel that I'd been wanting to read for a while. Now I look at my tbr pile and dream of the moment I'll have time to sit down with my new books.

Lent

Today's 100 words:

I spent some time yesterday thinking about Lent and my plans for it this year. In past years, I've given things up, like carbonated beverages and chocolate, but I did those things mainly for my health, and I'm not certain I recognized the real purpose of Lent. This year I decided that rather than giving things up, I'll add some things to my life: I found a Lenten Bible reading plan to help me get back to daily Bible reading, and I made the promise to myself that I'll spend more quality time with God's gift to me, my children.

Amazement

Today's 100 words:

I'm still amazed each time my kids want to hang out with me. In some ways I feel like a kid myself. After all, there's no training for parenting, and some days it seems like nearly every decision I make as a mom is a guess. Since I'm learning right along with the kids, sometimes I can't believe that I--incompetent and unqualified--have been entrusted with children. But I was, and I'm grateful for every minute they want to spend with me, cuddled together with a book, snuggling and realizing yet again just how blessed I am.

Early morning

Today's 100 words:

The roar of the furnace again, but otherwise it's quiet in the house this early in the morning, still an hour before I have to awaken the kids for storytime, still an hour before my mind and all my senses need to become alert to the chatter of little ones: children who have so much to say after a night's sleep that my drowsy mind often can't keep up as they talk-trip over each other, excited to relay their dreams, their plans, their wishes for waffles with syrup for breakfast, please, and "Mommy, will you turn on the TV?"

Capturing memories

Today's 100 words:

Sometimes my children say what I think are wonderfully brilliant things, and I always rush to write those things down so I don't forget them. I have slips of paper all over the house inscribed with things the kids have said or stories about the cute and funny things they've done, and one of these days, I'll compile them all in the journals I bought for that purpose. Capturing memories is important to me because my feeble mind has a tendency to forget, and if I don't write things down, they'll be lost forever. I don't want to forget a moment.

Older and wiser?

Today's 100 words:

Does growing older mean growing wiser? I heard that on the radio this morning as I was driving home from the preschool. I know that I've lived through enough in my nearly four decades to have at least some knowledge to pass on to my children. I've certainly made mistakes that I hope my children never repeat. And my four-year-old son: he learns so quickly, and he shares what he knows with his little sister. I think the level of our wisdom changes with growing age, but everyone, no matter how old, has something to teach.

What will their dreams be?

Today's 100 words:

It was my mom who told me that I should be a writer. I guess she saw something in me way back when I was young and spending much of my free time scribbling away in notebooks. It's been my own dream for just as long. Now I look at my kids and wonder what their dreams will be. Will my daughter's love of animals turn into a career as a veterinarian? Will my son's love of trains and cars and singing factor into his future plans?

Both of my children love books. Will they be writers, too?

Snow!

Today's 100 words:

Today looks to be the first day this winter that we're getting snow that sticks, not melting away immediately after falling to the lawn and driveway but remaining, blanketing, warming in the way only cold snow can warm, and I know the children will be excited when they awaken this morning, when they race to the living room window and discover that finally--finally!--the cold, white, frozen fun awaits them, and they will want to play in it, don their coats, boots, and snow pants, mittens, hats, and scarves, but it's still too early, much too early, for that.

Only the echo

Today's 100 words:

 

It's just past 6 p.m. now, and after only three hours of sleep last night, I'm ready to drop. It was a nice day passed in a whirlwind of torn paper and crumpled bows, a constant chorus of children screaming their delight over the gifts Santa brought. But for all the preparation that went into the holiday, it's over much too soon. The late nights spent wrapping presents, days spent baking cookies, time spent writing out cards...all for moments that pass too quickly, and suddenly night has fallen, leaving only the lingering echo of my children's delighted laughter.

Just like kids

Today's 100 words:

 

When I owned those amaryllis plants--more than twenty--I thought of them as my kids and worried about them in the way one worries about her children: Are they getting enough sun? Enough water? Enough vitamins? Are they too cold? Too hot? I suppose I behaved that way because I didn't have any human children then. Still, the plants were my babies. I had invested a lot into them, and I wanted them to thrive. These new bulbs I bought recently are not my priority now that I'm caring for my own kids, but I still want them to do well.

Too fast

Today's 100 words:

I've taken to measuring the passage of time by the gasoline needs of our car. Every two weeks--on Thursdays, to be precise--I have to fill the tank. Those are, of course, "normal" weeks in which we don't do any extra driving, just our usual trips to the grocery store, the library, storytime, church, and preschool. The two weeks seem to pass by so quickly, and when I let myself think about it, I realize that my children are two weeks older, then two more weeks, then two more... They're growing up before my eyes--and before I'm ready.

Countdown!

I've always kind of hated that NaNoWriMo starts on November 1. I like to use the day before to make changes to my outline and try to fill in plot holes, but Halloween makes that a little difficult--especially since I have two children who are eager to go trick or treating. But I guess that's part of the challenge of NaNo: trying to fit 50,000 words around an already busy schedule to prove that writing is possible, and I (and everyone else who wants to) can find the time for it if it truly is a passion. That, I think, is the real lesson NaNo teaches.

So for all of you taking on the challenge: Good luck! I know that despite my tiredness and the fact that I need to get up at 6 a.m. on Tuesday, I, for one, will be sitting at my computer at midnight, typing away.

Enjoy!