Six-word Saturday

My new career: driving the kiddies.

Maybe I should say that's the title of my life's movie: Driving the Kiddies. You know—like Driving Miss Daisy? ☺ My kids are only four and six, and already they have social commitments and classes and people to see and things to do. My son has been taking karate for the past three weeks, and my daughter starts dance class on Monday. I feel as though I spend most of my time in the car and in stuffy gyms, waiting—always waiting. I might even be starting to forget what my house looks like! And this is only the beginning...

 

However, as frustrated as I sometimes get about all this driving, you know what? It's part of my job as a mom, and I wouldn't have it any other way. ♥

 

Wishing you all a fun and relaxing Saturday. ☺

 

 

So much excitement!

Photo: John Nyberg, rgbstock.com

Happy Thursday, friends. ☺

There's been a lot of excitement at our house this week:

♥ My six-year-old son lost his first tooth on Tuesday morning. (You've never seen such a proud boy!)

♥ The kids were able to play in their new inflatable pool for the first time on Monday. (They had outgrown their old one.)

♥ I made it through Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred, Level 1. Whew! (I'm starting Level 2 today! Wish me luck...)

♥ I signed up for another Coursera course, History of Rock, Part 2. It begins in a less than two weeks. I'm also signed up for a fall poetry class that I've heard some great things about: Modern & Contemporary American Poetry.

♥ I've been doing more work on my dad's memoir—so much fun!

♥ The kids and I survived the first week of summer vacation. ☺

Speaking of that last item, I've been trying to find interesting things to do to keep the kids occupied and entertained. Yesterday I discovered this fun video about creating instant ice. A future project? Perhaps!


(Go here to find more tips for making this project work.)

So that's my world this week. What's exciting in your world?

Wishing you all a fantastic Thursday. ☺

Car talk: Oh, the things kids say!

It's no secret that kids, especially young ones, can get restless when they're forced to ride in a car for hours at a time. Mine, ages five and just-turned-three, are certainly no exceptions. Fortunately—for them, at least!—they've come up with several statements and questions to help pass the time. Here are their ten favorites. How many have you heard?

Ten Things My Kids Said During Our Four-Day Car Trip:

Image courtesy of Marja Flick-Buijs, rgbstock.com

1. Are we there yet? (This one is pretty standard among kids. I think it comes pre-programmed.)

2. How much longer? (A variation of number one, this question requires more than a one-word response from Mom and Dad and therefore ranks as Slightly More Annoying on the annoyance scale.)

3. How many more Little Einstein's is it? (My kids love this show, which is roughly a half-hour long, so instead of saying that we need to drive for eight more hours, we'll say, "It's only sixteen more Little Einsteins." Somehow, this sounds better to the kids. Whatever works...)

4. I feel poop coming out. (Said—often—by my just-starting-to-get-the-hang-of-potty training three-year-old immediately after we had strapped her into her car seat. Most of the time it was a false alarm.)

5. I have to pee. (Usually said as we're pulling away from a rest area.)

6. I don't wanna go home! (Apparently, my three -year-old really loved her vacation—a lot! She was like the Energizer Bunny in her repetition of this one. She kept going and going and going...)

7. I want French fries! (I think this one is also pretty universal. My kids only have fast food when we're on vacation, so we heard this a lot during our trip.)

8. I wanna get out. (Uttered by the kids every half-hour or so. I could have set my watch by them—unfortunately.)

9. I'm cold. (The three-year-old. We turned off the air-conditioning.)

10. I'm hot. (The five-year-old. We turned on the air-conditioning. NOTE: Numbers nine and ten were always said at the same time.)


So there you have them—a few of the many sentences my kids uttered in order to drive us crazy pass the time. Is it any wonder we only take long car trips once a year? ☺


Happy Thursday!

Saying thank you isn't enough

I'm finally back!

Image courtesy of sundesigns, rgbstock.com

It was a difficult few weeks, but I'm happy to say that everything turned out much, much better than I could have expected. I don't have enough words for how grateful I am for your comments, thoughts, e-mails, and prayers. It meant so much to know that others cared and were thinking of me, and I know it was that—and faith—that made the situation easier to get through. Thank you so much.

I'm happy to be back on my blog, and I'm looking forward to posting again—it's been a while! However, for a couple of reasons, I'm going to be easing my way back to daily blogging. As some of you probably know, my son will be starting kindergarten in the fall. He'll be attending all day, every day, which of course is something this mom isn't really ready to think about, much less deal with! (I'll probably cry for days.) I had wanted to spend the summer doing fun things with him and his little sister, but several situations and events prevented me from doing as much with them as I would have liked. There's a little over a month left until school starts, so my plan is to spend more time doing things with the kids, which will, sadly, leave me with a little less time for blogging.

I'm also participating in Camp NaNoWriMo this month. I'm using it to jump-start my memoir project, which I've put on the back burner for far too long. I'll spend part of the month transcribing interview notes and conducting more interviews (and then transcribing those as well). Once I see what I have to work with, I hope to get a good start on putting it all together. This project has been pretty daunting, but I'm hoping that Camp NaNo will help give me the momentum I need.

So although I may not post every day this month—(or maybe I will; who knows what the weeks will hold?)—I still plan on posting several times a week. I love blogging—it's one of my favorite outlets—and I love connecting with other people through their blogs. I'm looking forward to catching up with all of you!

Regardless of what happens with my posting this month, I'll be back full force once life settles down a little in the fall. Thank you for being patient with me and for everything you did these past several weeks. I appreciate it all more than I can say.

(And it definitely feels good to be writing again!)

P is for Passionate About Paper

I love paper. Take me to a stationery store, and I'll wander the aisles all day checking out the journals and notepads and trying out all the pens. (Did I mention I also love pens?)

Photo by Elisa Xyz
Courtesy of Public Domain Pictures

My obsession with paper comes from my mom--or at least I like to blame it on her! Whenever she and Dad took me to the orthodontist for my checkups, she'd insist on stopping at the stationery store afterward to find out what was new in office supplies. Mind you, she didn't need office supplies; she just wanted them.

As I wandered around the store with her, I began my own love affair with stenographer's notebooks, handmade paper, moleskin journals, day planners, diaries--anything and everything paper. I was charmed by the rainbow of colors and diversity of textures, and I had a special weakness for stickers and novelty items featuring some of the popular trends of the day (think mid-80s). My many trips to the store also started my brief obsession with erasers and four-color pens. (Okay, I admit I still love those pens!) In my mind, the stationery store was the perfect place, not only for me but for my friends as well. I bought many a birthday gift at that store--although I'm not sure all of my friends found the gifts as amazing as I did!

Photo by Shari Weinsheimer
Courtesy of Public Domain Pictures

My passion for all things paper still rages today. Since I started taking my writing more seriously several years ago, I've gone through notebook after notebook. One of my favorite things to do now is to troll the back-to-school sales and buy stacks of college-ruled notebooks for ten or fifteen cents apiece. I find these notebooks are the best to use for my writing, as I'm not afraid I'll deface them with my scrawl. I buy notebooks in smaller sizes, too, so I can tuck them into my purse or hide them away in the stroller for ideas that come to me when I'm out with the kids.

Photo by Joy Shrader
Courtesy of Public Domain Pictures

Although I buy far more plain notebooks, I do love the fancier stationery and journals. In fact, I love them so much that when I buy them, I just look at them; I'm reluctant to destroy them by writing in them. A couple of years ago, I bought two beautiful journals filled with acid-free paper. I intended to begin mother's journals for each of my kids, where I'd write down the funny, cute, and interesting things they've done and said. Well, to this day, those journals are blank. I tell myself I haven't used them yet because I can't find a good archival pen, but really, it's the same old story: I'm afraid I'll mess them up. Meanwhile, I have drawers and boxes and purses full of little slips of paper on which I've written all sorts of memories. I just hope I can find them all if--I mean when--I do decide to start filling those journals.

And speaking of my kids, I'm happy to say that they are following in my paper-loving footsteps. Among other things, this year the Easter Bunny brought them some tiny notebooks, and both kids--but especially my five-year-old son--have been scribbling like mad. Will there be another writer or two in the family? I hope so!

How about you? Do you have a passion for paper?

Intermission and Roy G. Biv

Today is the A to Z Challenge's scheduled day off. I'll be back tomorrow with the letter N.

I'd like to welcome those who are new to my blog. Thanks for following! When I'm not taking part in the challenge, I usually post 100-word entries describing my observations about things like motherhood, writing, and life. So without further ado, I bring you this morning's 100 words:

When I ask my kids to name their favorite colors, my five-year-old son will usually say blue or green. My two-year-old daughter, on the other hand, will start by saying pink but then change her answer to "I love all the colors of the rainbow!" before she dances and twirls out of the room, arms raised high, a wide smile spread across her face. Sometimes she stops, skips back to where I'm standing, and loudly sing-songs the colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Good old Roy G. Biv. I remember him well.

Remember Roy? He's my old friend. I probably wouldn't be able to recall the colors of the rainbow without him. :)

My Christmas Eve dilemma

Today's 100 words:

When I became a mother, I think that my brain's reasoning portion was removed, and I lost all my ability to make even small decisions. Case in point: tonight's 1.5-hour-long Christmas Eve service begins at 11 p.m., and I've been debating whether we should go. It seems like such a late night for the kids, and when I think of all I still have to do after they go to bed, I feel exhausted. Still, I want my kids to understand our Christian faith and the true meaning of Christmas. I'm sad the service isn't earlier.

Just like Mommy

Today's 100 words:

There are days when I don't like how much power being a mom holds. When I see my kids mimicking me--especially the parts of me that I'm not proud of--it's like a spotlight shining down, showing me just how imperfect I am. I suppose that realization is a good one, as it highlights the areas I need to change, but it's heartbreaking as well because I don't want my kids to use my actions as an example. I have a short temper, and sometimes I have a hard time holding it back. I don't want them to be like me.

Wish lists

Today's 100 words:

The kids worked on their letters to Santa yesterday, dictating their wish lists to me. They're still little, so they needed encouragement about what to say, but it was fun to hear what their two- and four-year-old minds came up with!

I remember when my mom would ask my sister and me to write our letters. She would sit us down with the JCPenney Big Book, and we would thumb through it, excitedly adding toys to our lists. I remember one year when I just had to have a giant teddy bear and another when my most-desired gift was a woodburning set. Santa delivered both times.

A progress report

I've been home for about a week now, and I'm still not back into the swing of things as far as my writing goes. Vacation always alters my life's "schedule," and even after it's over, I find myself feeling sort of off-kilter. Before we left for our trip, I had been working on my novel during the hours before the kids woke up, but since we got back, I've been using that time to catch up on laundry and all the other household tasks I had neglected to do before we left, and work on my WIP has been put on a back burner. As far as my novel goes, then, I'm giving myself a C for effort--and that's only because I'm grading on a curve! ;) Maybe next week I'll feel less tired and stressed and more inspired. Here's hoping!

I have been managing to keep up with my 100-word exercises, however. I enjoy them. They usually don't take long, which has been a bonus lately, and they allow me to get other thoughts out of my mind in order to make room for reflection about my projects. (Even though I haven't been writing my WIP, I have been thinking about it.) The exercises are also a good way for me to banish some of the doubts I have about myself as a writer. Through them, I let my inner critic speak. When she's done having her say, I feel like I can ignore her for the rest of the day, which helps my creative mind immensely. I generally don't post these 100-word "talks" with my inner critic, but maybe someday I'll share some of them here.

Enough about me: I feel like I'm so behind on all of your projects. How are they going? How would you grade your progress?

Novel update

Tonight I only have time for a quick update on my WIP. My husband worked all weekend, leaving me with the kids, and as anyone who's a stay-at-home or single parent can attest, being with the kids all week long and then having no help on the weekend makes for two long, very tiring days. I think I'll actually have to do something unprecedented tonight: go to bed early.

Anyway, I'm still in the planning stages of my novel, but the work is going well. Right now I'm doing research and outlining the story's major events, after which I'll go back and fill in some of the individual scenes. I wasn't sure in the beginning if I was going to outline this story or not, but I'm glad I decided to take the time to do so. I feel more confident knowing where the story needs to go. However, I also know that I need to leave room for my talkative protagonist to tell me as I'm writing if he intends to take another path.

He's crafty that way!

Embracing the moments

I wake up each morning with the best of intentions. I'll work on my novel before the kids get up, I'll say to myself. And I'll clean the kitchen and sweep the downstairs rooms and call my sister, too. But these are just lies, apparently, because I undoubtedly finish only one or two tasks, sometimes ones that aren't even on my "Good Intentions" list. Today, however, my goal is to forget everything but writing. Dirty dishes and laundry be damned. This morning, I'm going to do what I love to do: I'm going to write.

I wrote this exercise early this morning, and I'm happy to say that I did write, although I had a hard time ignoring the dirty dishes waiting for me in the sink. (Lucky for me, they were still there when I finished writing...) I didn't do much work on my WIP for the rest of the day, however, as I instead ended up doing bits and pieces of other things around the house, accomplishing a lot but nothing that would really be noticeable to anyone else (i.e. my husband). But this morning's writing session was peaceful and productive, and I hope to make early-morning work on my novel more of a habit on the days when the kids sleep in and the laundry pile graciously declines to beckon to me.

My kids are playing in the living room, and all is right in my world

I tweeted this earlier today:

The kids are pretending to give each other baths in the doll's bathtub. I love just to sit and listen to them!

I've been trying to clean the house today because my mother-in-law and sister-in-law will be visiting this weekend, so the kids have been playing on their own. Listening to them play together and talk to each other warms my heart, and I often stop whatever I'm doing--washing dishes, folding clothes, scrubbing crayon marks off the walls--and eavesdrop on them. If I have the camcorder handy, sometimes I'll lurk around the corner and try to record them before they notice me and stop doing whatever cute thing they happen to be doing. Other times, like today, I'll take pictures of my son "washing" my daughter's hair as she sits in a white plastic tub that is way too small for even her tiny, 22-month-old bottom.

These moments--these small moments of everyday life--are so precious. They are the moments that make me glad I'm a mother, glad that I've been given such a huge and awesome responsibility. Despite the many times when the scene isn't quite as  idyllic--when someone is screaming and someone else is crying for a diaper  change--I love my job. I love my life. My family is everything. And even though there are still so many things I want for myself in life--to be a published author is just one--my children are more important right now. They need me, and I'm learning every day just how much I need them too.

Riding the rails

We're taking the kids to see and ride Thomas the Tank Engine tomorrow. I just told them tonight before bed, and I can hear them talking about it in their room right now. My son is the most excited, as he's been interested in trains for several years. He's telling his sister all about Thomas and the Island of Sodor and reminding her that although Thomas is sleeping right now, he'll be at the Island tomorrow. I heard such dreaminess in his voice as he sleepily said, "I wanna go to the Island of Sodor..."  His voice was so sweet, so full of longing, and it melted my heart. I'm glad they're so excited. I hope tomorrow is special for them.

Unconditional, unquestioning love

Today was another rough day with the kids. Even though they're still very young, they've already started to gang up on me, and their screaming and fighting and unwillingness to listen really got to me this afternoon. I felt pushed to my edge and yelled, which I don't like to do and which I always feel guilty about afterward. The day seemed extra long because my husband worked late tonight, and I couldn't wait for him to get home so that I could sneak out for an hour before the kids' bedtime. I had to buy Easter basket treats, so I needed to go out for that, but maybe more importantly, I needed that time to myself. I needed the peace. When my husband came home, I practically ran out the door.

When I returned home, my son, the son that I had yelled at all day long, ran to the door and hugged me around the knees, and shouted, "Mama! Mama's home!" I wanted to cry. After everything bad that had happened today, he was still excited to see me. Despite it all, he was glad I was home.

I was too.

Every once in a while, you gotta have one...

A dreadful, appalling, hideous, horrible day, that is.

The kids ran me ragged today, and although I'd like to post something worthwhile and interesting, my brain is just too fried tonight. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that today was a long, trying, tiring day, during which I was forced to confiscate library books and withhold snacks, among other things.

Tomorrow will be better, right?

Time to make the doughnuts bagels!

Today the kids and I did something we've never done before: we made homemade bagels. We followed this recipe, and although I can't call myself a baker by any stretch of the imagination, the bagels actually turned out quite well. They were lopsided and kind of ugly, but they tasted good, and that's what counts, right?

I found it relaxing to bake with the kids. Usually I'm stressed out, wondering how I'm going to fit everything I need to do into the nineteen or so hours I'm awake each day, but today I decided that I was going to put everything else aside--writing included--and spend some quality time with my kids. As someone posted in my comments yesterday, my kids are still young, and they need me now more than they ever will. I want to be there for them, do things with them, create memories that they'll never forget. My writing is important, but there is a season for everything, including writing. I'm certainly not going to stop writing, however; I have to write. I feel compelled to--and more importantly, I enjoy it.  What I'm going to try to do is stop stressing out about it--stop worrying about word counts and pages written and edited. I think that now is the time in my life when I need to focus on more than only my own desires, and if I can just relax a bit about what I want to do, I believe that things will fall into place.

As it is with so many things, I'm sure this resolution will be easier said than done, especially for my type A personality. When the hard days come, I'm going to focus on how much fun I had making those bagels with the kids, how nice it was to enjoy "real" time with them, time that wasn't spent at the dinner table or in the car driving to storytime or the grocery store. When it's kid time, I'm going to focus on them--and not worry about my writing projects.

I can write when we're done making those bagels.

Dana's Very Bad Day

It started off nicely enough.

I'd had my coffee; the kids weren't fighting. Everything was...well, cool.

Then the library's Max and Ruby DVD went missing, and all hell broke loose. The three of us searched high; we searched low. We searched what we'd already searched, then searched it all again.

The DVD was gone, AWOL, missing in action, and we feared we would never see it again. The kids were sad. I was sad too; I didn't want to pay a fine.

As the search went on, the kids grew bored and restless. I grew angry. I ranted and raved. "Why can't you remember to put things back where they belong?" I shouted.

After hours of searching, we were overcome by exhaustion. The littlest one took a nap. The bigger one played. I, the old and cranky one, made dinner and stewed.

Our soup tasted of rage. Daddy returned from work and heard the story. He vowed to continue the search. I vowed to continue to rant. The kids ate...remarkably.

After dinner (no dessert), I did the dishes, then went through the trash, still searching, still fuming. Nothing. I sat at the table, racked my brain, was at a loss.

Then...joy! The bigger one raced into the room, DVD in hand--and peace reigned once again.

**Ihis is the greatly sanitized version; our day was much, much worse. We're hoping for a better one tomorrow.

Not the Mommy Guilt!

I'm feeling some Mommy Guilt today. We were supposed to get a huge storm last night, and I decided early this morning when I was awakened by sleet pinging against the window that I wouldn't take the kids to storytime today. It's held at the Barnes and Noble across town, and I worried the roads would be icy. I dislike driving in the winter, particularly since I was rear-ended a little over a year ago. Snowstorms cause me to clutch the wheel in a white-knuckled grip, praying all the while. I decided not to put myself through that today, and so I slept in a bit and woke up too late to get them to the bookstore.

 

When I looked out the window, however, I saw a gray day, yes, but only a light dusting of snow: no sleet, no blizzard, no trees bent in high winds. And so now I feel that infamous Mommy Guilt, that "I should have taken them to storytime since they love it so much" thought playing on repeat in my mind. I know my kids won't care; they may not even realize that today was a storytime day, but I feel guilty nevertheless, just one more guilt to add to the already towering pile.

 

Mommy Guilt: bah!

The guilt trip

I'm writing this post in the computer room and feeling guilty for not being in the living room, playing cars with my son.

Yesterday I felt guilty for washing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen instead of reading books to the kids.

After the kids are in bed each night, I feel guilty for writing instead of spending time with my husband.

And when I write, I feel guilty for working on projects other than my novel...

This is my life: all guilt, all the time. I can't get away from it. No matter what I'm doing--particularly if I'm doing something that happens to be for me, like writing--I feel like there's something more important that I should be working on instead. One day, my life stopped being my sole focus, and that was the day Guilt came to stay.  He might have arrived when my husband and I married, but most likely, he was birthed with the kids. Regardless, I don't think he's always wrong in his assessments: I know that my priorities are skewed sometimes. But figuring out how to live for myself and for others? Well, that's the hard part.