Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Have I told you the one about the klutz?

Hi to old friends and new! I had so much fun with the Blogging from A to Z Challenge that I decided to participate in a blogfest that begins today: Blog Me MAYbe, the brainchild of writer and blogger Sara McClung. Basically, throughout the month of May, participants can choose (or not!) to blog five days a week following this predetermined schedule:

Mondays: MAY I tell you something about writing?

Tuesdays: MAY I tell you something about myself?

Wednesdays: MAY I ask something about you?

Thursdays: MAY I tell you something about someone else?

Fridays: MAY I share something funny?

You can find out all the details by clicking the banner in this post or the button on the right side of my page (both created by the talented Tracey Neithercott). I hope you join in. This blogfest promises to be a lot of fun!


So, then... May I tell you something about myself?

I am a Klutz with a capital K. If there's a wall, I will walk into it. If there's a toy on the floor--and when isn't there, in a house with two small kids?--I will trip over it. If there's a hole, I will fall into it. If there's a set of stairs, I will fall down (or up!) them. I think you get the picture.

My life of klutziness began the moment I learned to walk. I, of course, don't remember those days, but according to witnesses (mainly Mom, Dad, and Brother), I couldn't walk two feet without slamming into something, bumping into something, or falling on my face. Apparently I was a walking bruise, which, come to think of it, probably helps to explain all those pictures in which I'm wearing hats and long sleeves. Curiously, no one seemed to be bothered by my apparent klutziness. (Well, I was probably bothered.) It wasn't until I was nearly five years old that people (namely the kindergarten registration people) determined that maybe--just maybe--I couldn't see very well.

They were right, and off I went to get my first in a long line of glasses. (I've been wearing them now for almost thirty-five years. Yikes!) Once those glasses were firmly in place on my face, everyone sat back and breathed a sigh of relief: Dana's klutziness was cured!

Um, not so much.

Not my thumb--but how easily it could be.
Image courtesy of Jana Kollarova,
rgbstock.com

Apparently, my eyes have nothing to do with it. I am--I confess--completely and utterly uncoordinated. I can't control my limbs; I certainly can't dance. I can, however, walk into doorways, trip over coffee tables, bump my head on open cabinets, walk into the corners of the kitchen table, slice off the tips of my fingers while cutting vegetables, walk into open car doors (not to mention slam my fingers in them), and trip over invisible objects.

I have no excuse. I'm just a Klutz.

Unfortunately, my five-year-old son seems to have inherited my klutziness gene. Just last Sunday as we were getting ready for church, I heard a cry from the kitchen and ran downstairs, nearly breaking my leg as I stumbled over a blue Mega Blok and my two-year-old's stuffed Minnie Mouse, only to find my son sitting dazed on the floor, crying and holding his head. This is the conversation that ensued:

Me: (panicked, looking for blood) What happened? What happened? Are you okay?

Son: (gasping for breath between screams of blood murder) I bumped my head.

Me: (looking around and wondering what he possibly could have hit his head on, as he was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room) On what? There's nothing here.

Son: (wailing) On the wall!


(And sadly, this wasn't his first time at the rodeo.)

So there you have it. I'm a klutz, and unfortunately, it appears that I'm raising another one. I guess what they say is true: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Poor kid.

54 comments:

  1. you remind me of my daughter--"the dancer" all grace and elegance on the dance floor--but take her off--look out, she can trip over or bump into anything--she has no spacial consciousness--i cannot tell you how many times i have tried to keep her from walking into someone's path or mowing them over----funny post, but could be dangerous--you two be careful out there!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. LOL I wish I could dance. My husband loves to, but I always make some excuse to stay off the dance floor.

      Your daughter does sound just like me (and my son!) Yes, it's a dangerous world for us. ;)

      Delete
  2. Oh. Em. Gee! I am a klutz too. My husband is always making fun. Like you, my oldest daughter now has my unfortunate "accident waiting to happen" gene.

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    1. Our poor kids, huh? I feel bad for my son. I wish we were both more graceful.

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  3. I've never thought of myself as a klutz, but I have managed to walk into walls, trip over toys, run into tables, etc. so maybe I am a partial klutz, ha ha. I think the worst was walking right into one of those kiddie music tables in the middle of the night. That bruise lasted for awhile....

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Ouch! That had to have hurt.

      Better a partial klutz that a Klutz with a capital K! LOL

      Delete
  4. This post reminded me of my mom. She was an epic klutz. As a child she was always cutting her finger, and one time she accidentally cut off part of her toe with an ashtray. Don't ask me how that one worked. She later dislocated an elbow five minutes before my wedding. She died last year at age 47, due to a genetic condition and not klutziness. When I think of klutz though, I still think of her, although it's with fondness.

    Anyway, I just discovered your blog through the Blog Me MAYbe blogfest, and I look forward to reading more.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. :(

      I'm happy to meet you. Thanks for the follow.

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  5. Man, I'm glad I'm not particularly klutzy. Sounds painful.

    So glad to meet you through the blogfest. :)

    And, to L.G. above, I'm so sorry you lost your mother so young. :(

    Hugs,
    Lola

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  6. Poor you (and your son). I hope you two don't do anything too damaging!

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  7. That's wonderful that you're participating in the blogfest. I too had more than my share of fun in the A - Z Challenge. As it turns out, I revived an old blog over the weekend. Take a peek and see if you don't want to spend some time there on occasion. I promise I won't mind. Here's the link so you can check it out:

    http://mjjoachim.blogspot.com/

    Who knows, maybe I'll enter this one in the blogfest...at least I'll give some thought to the idea. Anyway, I'm glad you're still writing, as it's always a pleasure to read your posts. Happy Tuesday to you:)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks so much for your kind words! I'll definitely check out your blog. I hope you decide to join in the blogfest. I'm already having a lot of fun with it. :)

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  8. Why do I feel like I'm reading about myself? ;)

    I am so with you on this. SUCH a klutz too. And I read about someone else today with similar issues.

    And so glad you're doing the blog fest!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm glad, too. I can tell already that it's going to be a blast!

      Glad I'm not the only klutz! I'm telling you--my bruises have bruises. LOL

      Delete
  9. I'm a HUGE klutz myself. I inherited it from my mom. I just hope my son doesn't get it from me! I think it stems from the fact I spend a lot of time in my head.

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    1. You know, I never thought about it before, but I bet there's some truth to that. I'm in my head a lot, too--and much too busy thinking and plotting to watch where I'm going. LOL

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  10. Oh, this is SO me. I'm a mess when it comes to balance and grace and, unfortunately, I seem to have passed this on to my 4 year old daughter. My husband is super quick-footed and agile, and I'm the complete opposite. Trust me: You are NOT alone. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That's so good to know! Balance and grace are definitely not my things. LOL

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  11. I am looking forward to your scheduled posts - when you get around to them! I am not a klutz but nor am I an athlete.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I should be posting them every day, although I might take a day off from the blogfest here or there to post something else.

      I wish I was an athlete. High school gym class would have been so much easier. ;)

      Delete
  12. I've chosen to blame my klutziness on the fact that I was on a fishing boat when I was learning to walk. Getting my sea legs before I got my land legs most definitely hurt my ability to walk. And that is why I almost fell down in the front the bank (again)!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I love it! Wish I could say the same. ;)

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  13. I'm definitely a klutz too! I fall up stairs all the time. I always have bruises on my knees or elbows to prove it. Yikes! At least we aren't alone. :)

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    1. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. :)

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  14. What a cute challenge to participate in! I look forward to your involvement in it and what you write!! You are brave to go into another one so soon after A/Z!!

    I think I'm somehow related to you or you are related to me, LOL. I'm a klutz too; I don't know how many times I walk into walls or edges of the doorway, etc. Its all good though, right? Although I do wish I got the dancing gene, I'm like you I can't really dance though would like to; I guess I got no rhythm or something :) (tone deaf too and married to a musician)

    Make Wednesdsay a great one!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Happy Wednesday, Betty!

      I don't know if I'm brave or crazy. LOL

      I think that part of my problem is that I'm always in a hurry. I cut corners too closely and run into things. (Or maybe I just don't watch where I'm going!)

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  15. I am the hugest klutz in the history of the world. My friends always laugh at me about it. You are not alone!

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I had no idea there were so many of us! :)

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  16. You are not alone!!! I have a permanent bruise on my thigh from the corner of my TV stand...you'd think my body would figure out where that thing is but sadly no.

    You're among friends! I can't wait to read more!!!

    Princess WeeWee

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks!


      Fun blog, by the way. Following! :)

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  17. i just checked you out from your comment on MOV's blog. clearly it works!

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    1. LOL Yes, I messed around with it a little after posting my "confused" comment. Thanks for checking! :)

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  18. I am such a klutz too!!!

    I trip and fall, drop trays, toss over a stack I just put on my desk, etc etc.

    I also have the klutziest cat, he is almost as klutzy as me :)

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    1. LOL I've never seen a clumsy cat before. I thought they were all graceful!

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  19. Ha, ha Dana I am partly klutz, years ago I was banned from operating the ironing board because I invariably managed to get fingers stuck and badly damaged each time I opened it or closed it. When I was little my family banned me from washing dishes because I would break so many. My youngest daughter is worse. She falls up stairs. I worry about her, her school has soooo many extremely high stairs and she falls every single day.

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    1. Yikes! Sounds like we all--you, me, my son, your daughter--need to watch ourselves. It's a dangerous world for klutzes!

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  20. Dana, I wish I'd known about the challenge. I would have joined in. Too late?? I'm a klutz too, supreme in my klutziness!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hi, fellow klutz! ;)

      No, it's not too late; you can join in anytime. I hope you do. It's fun!

      Delete
  21. Hello from another klutz! Open cabinet doors are my nemesis. Also cheese graters, curbs, and cups of hot coffee. :)

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  22. OMG, I have broken so many bones I have stopped counting. My family referred to me as "accident-prone" not a klutz, but the result was the same. The most embarrassing accident was breaking my ankle on a handicap ramp coming out of the grocery store. I fell, purse went flying, groceries fell all over, and of course people who knew me came running over calling my name. I couldn't even do this in obscurity. LOL

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Too funny--but painful as well, I'm sure!

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  23. Lol! I laughed through this because I am the same way. Can't open a cabinet door without ultimately hurting myself. :-) Maybe we should put bubbles around us and then we could just bounce off things!

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    1. Oh, I agree. Aren't those doors awful? I just don't understand how I can walk into them when I KNOW I just opened them up. Crazy!

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  24. Wow you are brave, starting another one right after A to Z. I think I need a breather. lol Actually I have some book reviews I have to get caught up on.

    I know what you mean about being a klutz, sometimes I feel that way. There is a bookshelf next to the door coming into our office and sometimes I cut to close and catch it with my arm every time. It's like you would think by now I would not try to be in such a hurry. lol
    until next time...nel

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    1. That's exactly what I do, Nel. I'm always in too much of a hurry, so I walk into the same things over and over and never, ever learn.

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  25. I know what you mean. When I worked for bank I kept a list of the clumsy things I did when sitting at the till. I got up to 26 in one day including getting my head banged by the safe door.

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    1. Ouch!

      Keeping a list--that's a great idea! I should try that one of these days. It would be interesting to see just how clumsy I am.

      Delete
  26. Hello fellow Yooper! :) I'm a bit of a klutz myself--gave myself such a bad bruise walking into the corner of a hotel bedframe last November that the mark is still there...

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    1. Hey, there!

      Last November? Wow, that must have been some bruise!

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  27. It's good to see you're moving on to another challenge. When I was a child, my parents always said I was graceful. I'm not sure that's true anymore. But I do try to be careful.

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    1. I try--sometimes--but I never succeed. LOL

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