Giving thanks

Today's 100 words:

Yesterday was our four-year-old son's first-ever Thanksgiving program. He stood with his class at the front of the gym, arms to his sides, a little nervous or self-conscious, I think, and sang two songs. I snapped pictures while Daddy videotaped, and every time the flash went off, our son would slide his eyes away from the teacher and toward mine.

I can't even begin to describe how incredibly proud I am of my smiling little boy and how hard it is to believe that the baby I brought home from the hospital is already so big.

Since my family and I will be traveling over the holiday, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and extend a huge thank you for reading my blog! I'll be back and posting on Friday or Saturday.

Hands

This morning's 100 words:

I watched my four-year-old son as he slept this morning, tapping his fingers against his sheet as though he were dreaming of playing a piano, and I realized for the first time how big his hands have gotten--how long his fingers, how wide his palms--and I thought of the plaster plaque I helped him make for Daddy when he was two and how that no matter how much he tries--we try--his now-hand and his then-hand could never share that plaster space again: my little boy growing up so very fast.

Trick or treat!

Today's 100 words:

Today I was a mom helper in my four-year-old's preschool class. The kids were celebrating Halloween, each arriving in costume and ready to trick or treat at several offices throughout the building. Even though times have changed since I was a child, the costumes really haven't, and it was great to see familiar standbys like Spider-Man, a police officer, and the ubiquitous princess, all popular choices from my own childhood. It was clear that the kids were having a great time, and watching them made me nostalgic for the days when Halloween meant candy, games, and fun.

What memories do you have of Halloween? Any favorite costumes?

100 words on children growing up

Autumn cooled the air this morning, its chilly blast creeping through my bedroom window, sending me scurrying for warm clothes. Afterward, I rocked my two-year-old, enjoying her warmth and thankful that she's still willing to cuddle, that I'm still her world. It hurts my heart to think that one day my children might shun me as I try to kiss them or run from my open arms. My four-year-old hugs me when I drop him off at preschool, and I want to cling to him, knowing that my days of being number one aren't forever.

Scary and exciting

It's been obvious lately that I have school on my mind, and watching my excited four-year-old go off to preschool this week has prompted me to think about my own feelings about school. I don't remember my earliest days sitting in a classroom, although my parents have told me that I was as eager to start kindergarten as my son was to start preschool. I do, however, remember the first days I experienced in later years, which became the subject of today's 100 words:

Other than posing on the front steps for my annual first-day picture, I don't really remember much about my first days of school--at least not until I was older. I do remember starting junior high. The kids in the seventh and eighth grades were in the same building as the much-bigger-seeming kids in grades nine through twelve, and I can remember feeling intimidated by everyone around me. They all seemed so confident, and I didn't know anything: where I was going, what teachers to avoid, how not to look like a lost young child...

I think I'm done with school talk now, at least for a little while! It's been an exciting, scary, teary, happy week. Thanks for hanging in there as I shared my thoughts. :)

Tomorrow is the day

My four-year-old son starts preschool tomorrow. We went shopping this weekend to buy him his backpack--he chose a Spider-Man one--and a few other things that he'll need. He's been counting down the days for quite a while now, and when I told him today that tomorrow will be his first day, the look of excitement and joy on his face was priceless! I'm glad he's so excited.

Now I'm just crossing my fingers that I don't embarrass him when I burst into tears...

That first big step

I'm sure I'll probably write more about this as the day gets closer, but for now, here's 100 words:

My four-year-old starts preschool in about two weeks, and the thought makes me want to cry. I'm not ready to let go of him. He and I have been together every day since he was born. Every day. We don't have family here, and I have a difficult time trusting babysitters, so we've never left the kids with anyone. My husband says I'm being ridiculous, but I don't think that's fair. He works outside the home; he's had practice being away from the kids. I haven't had that. This is going to be hard for me.

The greatest gift

My little boy has had a fever for most of the day. He took two naps this afternoon and asked to go to bed tonight, things that never happen around here. The kids rarely get sick, and when they do, my worry gene kicks into overdrive. The nighttime checks become more frequent; I become obsessed with making sure their water cups are never empty; I carry the thermometer from room to room and check their temperatures over and over again...

So tonight I will worry, as all parents do, and I will wake myself up and tiptoe upstairs to my son's room. I will lay my hand across his forehead and then his cheek; I will take his temperature and ask him if he needs a drink of water or to use the bathroom. Then I'll tuck him in and make my way back downstairs, where I will set my alarm so I can wake up and do it all again. I won't sleep much, but that doesn't matter.

He's my precious little boy, and I would do anything for him. He gave me the greatest gift in all the world: he made me a mom.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh