Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Seven grapes and a headache

It was one of those days.

The morning started out promising enough. The sun was beginning to lighten the sky, hot coffee waited for me in the kitchen, and I had two hours to myself before the kids would be getting out of bed. Charis, my muse, had just shown up at the door, so I decided I would write. I had a new idea that I couldn't seem to get out of my mind, and I needed her inspiration.

Image courtesy of Vorfay,
rgbstock.com
Well, as I'm sure you can guess, things didn't go exactly as planned.

The moment I settled into my chair at the computer, all my dreams of a pleasant, peaceful, and productive morning evaporated.

Chatter from upstairs: the kids were awake.

Hands already poised on the keyboard, I decided to do what mothers all over the world do when they're in the middle of something and are certain that their kids aren't in imminent danger: I pretended I didn't hear them.

"Aren't you going to check on them?" Charis, who's not a mother, asked as she clipped her toenails with the clippers she had stolen borrowed from my medicine cabinet. Gross.

"Shh! Let's just wait a few minutes and see if they go back to sleep. I need to work on this idea." I nodded toward the pile of pink half-moons littering the floor around her feet. "And make sure you sweep that up," I said.

Charis glanced at the floor and shrugged. "You know, they'd better quiet down because I don't work in these kinds of conditions. It's in my contract: no quiet, no inspiration. Got any polish?" She stared at my chewed-off fingernails. "Sorry. Stupid question."

I sighed. "Let's just get started, okay? Last time you said something about the main character and a letter..."

A loud cry from upstairs, followed by a scream.

"That's my cue," Charis said, tossing my nail clippers on the desk and grabbing her purse from the back of my chair. "See ya another day."

"Wait! What about my story? The letter... What does it say? Charis..."

But she was gone.

I sighed. So much for the story--and my quiet morning.

I trudged upstairs to find the reason for the crying: the littlest one had peed the bed. Wonderful. I love more laundry, especially now that the dryer has become a piranha that tears holes through random items of clothing. In the interest of keeping everyone clothed, I've been forced to abandon the modern-day convenience and instead use every available doorknob, towel rack, and curtain rod in the house as a clothesline. It's either that or we join a nudist colony, which I have to admit I've considered because honestly, it seems like a lot less work.*

Always a silver lining.
Photo by David Wagner, Courtesy of Public Domain Pictures
Now you'd think that after that, the day could only get better, right? Yeah, not so much. After the pee-pee fiasco:

• The kids had a lunchtime food fight. It's such a joy to step on grapes and peas with my bare feet.

• My other, never-seen child, It Wasn't Me, colored on the leather love seat and hardwood floor.

• Our insurance man called while I was cooking dinner and rambled on for a half-hour, during which time I forgot I had been heating some oil in a skillet. Result? Burned pan and a not-so-nice smell in the kitchen. I'm so changing insurance companies.

• Then the shark (piranha, whatever) nibbled a hole in my daughter's brand-new, never-been-worn leggings after I had tempted fate by deciding to toss clothes in the dryer rather than search the house for another spare doorknob. You know--the leggings she needs to wear tomorrow because they go with her already-clean-and-dry tunic that nothing else matches. Yeah, those.

By the time my husband came home and found me lying in the fetal position on the love seat (I was using my behind to cover up the crayon that I hadn't yet had a chance to remove), I was dazed, confused, and exhausted, especially when it occurred to me that I'd eaten only seven grapes all day and had a headache the size of...well, something really big.

I probably should have gone to sleep right then, but Hubs had put the kids to bed (bless him!), and it was writing time. So there's that.

You know, clouds and silver linings.


*[Note: the Home Depot guys are delivering a new dryer tomorrow. Yay!]


How is your day going?

47 comments:

  1. *hugs* What a day! Glad to hear you'll be getting a piranha free dryer tomorrow!

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  2. Replies
    1. Oh, I forgot to mention I love the conversation with Charis. She is hilarious!

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    2. That's sweet of you to say. Thanks!

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  3. Dana, that is so funny - - well, to ME, the reader. Probably not to YOU, the actor :) Enjoy your dryer!

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    1. I can see the humor in it now. LOL

      Thanks!

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  4. sounds like you not so good day lead to some pretty good writing---my day was okay---grocery store and library---enjoy your new dryer!

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  5. I'd have to admit, on fear of having something thrown at me or causing a cry of anguish, a whole lot better than yours. ;) I got my broken microwave replaced, it's heading on 90 today but I am nice and cool inside and watching (for old time's sake because I love it) City Of Angels with a box of Puffs nearby. Sure, I ache like hell all over and also have a headache, but my day has been going well and Karma can't hold a crayon. ;)

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    1. I'm happy you're having a nice day, Rita. :)

      LOL Yes, you're very lucky that Karma can't hold a crayon. :) Enjoy your movie!

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  6. I'm trying to straighten up the room over the garage and find storage space for overflowing Christmas decorations and seasonal wreaths just in case the exterminator wants to spray up here. I don't want the condition of this heckhole to be seen as the cause of the problem. And then I ran across an old will with an interesting name that I had to do some research on to figure out why he was named. And then I started wondering if Dana had posted yet. It's adult ADD I guess. At least I'm past the age of having someone draw on the furniture.

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    1. Wendy, I love your comments! No ADD--you're just following your train of thought. :)

      I'll be glad when no one's drawing on the furniture, and at the same time, I know I'll really miss it. Such is life, right? :)

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  7. Next time, put those grapes to good use and have wine. You'll still have a headache, but pee pee in the bed won't be so stressful. Oh, wow, that's crazy talk, huh? Well, it'd still be wine.

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    1. Great idea! Well, except for the pee. And whose bed are we talking about anyway? The kid's, I hope...

      Pass the wine! I need it (obviously). :)

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    2. Eventually I'll be old enough that pee in the bed will be a reality. But, then again, I'll have wine so who cares?

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  8. Oh, what a day! So sorry you didn't accomplish what you set out to do, Dana! I do love mornings like the one you described. Something about coffee in the early morning, the quiet, and a cooperative muse makes you feel you can conquer the world (or at least your story!). Hope tomorrow is better.

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  9. Oh my gosh! Laughing! I can just see it. Writing is always the last thing we get to do, isn't it? Hope tomorrow is better~

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    1. LOL It is pretty funny now that I'm not in the midst of it. :)

      Thanks!

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  10. What a day! I sometimes pretend and give myself another five or ten minutes of writing. As of right now, my husband came home late and will be late for the rest of the week, so I sent him out with the boy to water the garden and give me a wee bit of time on the computer.

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    1. I need to learn to use tiny pockets of time. I'm one of those people who can't write unless I know that I'll have at least an hour with no interruptions. Unfortunately, that's not the life of a mom...

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  11. Aw, hugs! It's all fodder for the writing (another dose of silver lining...)

    Hope you ate something and settled in for a much deserved sleep!

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    1. You're absolutely right--it is writing fodder. Thanks for reminding me. :)

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  12. Holy cow. My kids are in their 20's now, but your hilarious post send me into flashbacks. I think you've used up all your negative Karma for awhile. May tomorrow be filled with writing space. Thank you for stopping by my blog and your kind words.

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    1. I sure hope so. Thanks for the good wishes!

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  13. Its all good! At the end of the week we piece together the tattered pieces of time we wrote and wouldn't you know it we actually produced something constructive.

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    1. What a great way of looking at it. Thanks!

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  14. What a great life!!!

    Checking you out from the A-Z list.

    Teresa

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  15. Yea on the new dryer!! An essential in any house with young children (that and a dishwasher). I remember those days; you think you would have a moment to yourself and then all peace and quiet goes out the door; oh well, at least it was a start; you were sitting down contemplating to work before "disaster" struck. Hoping tomorrow is a better one!

    betty

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    1. We've got a dishwasher, too--thank goodness! :)

      Thanks! So far, today is going well.

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  16. Thank God for a new dryer but sorry your day kicked your butt !
    I don't really understand the muse references but I am not a writer either.
    Here's to a fabulous day tomorrow!

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    1. I guess we all have those days once in a while. It was just my turn. LOL Today's going well, though. Thanks!

      Charis is my real-only-in-my-mind writing muse. I sometimes post the conversations I have with her when I'm in need of inspiration. She always gets me writing!

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  17. Oh wow! What a day! I'm sorry you had to go through all that, although, I really did enjoy the silver lining. You've written this up beautifully!

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  18. That's the kind of day that would see me at the bottom of the garden until the kids learnt to cook for themselves!

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  19. Hooray for the new dryer!! Great post, Dana!

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    1. Thanks, Fran! The guys should be delivering it soon. :)

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  20. Hope your writing time was soothing and invigorating. I'm impressed that after such a trying day you sat down to work! Looking for the silver lining is a great message; thanks for the reminder.

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    1. Writing helps to calm me down. I didn't end up writing much, but I felt better. :)

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