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| I need a nap. Image courtesy of Karen Andrews, rgbstock.com |
Does this ever happen to you: You're really excited about something, like a project you're working on or a book you're reading or writing, so you stay up way, way past the time you know you should have gone to bed. And then the next night you do the same thing. And the next. And suddenly you find yourself staying up late every night, month after month, year after year, until you start falling asleep in your coffee and stumble bleary-eyed through every day?
No?
Is it just me?
For the past several years, I've gotten an average of four or five hours of sleep a night. The thing is, I like my quiet time. A quiet house is my refuge. I get up early because I like being able to write when no one else is awake. I like sitting in silence as I enjoy my coffee and the beginning of a new day. I like the peace that comes before the storm of child-activity once the kids are awake and playing/fighting in the living room. And honestly, if I don't have some time to myself before the rest of the family gets up, I'm not a very nice person.
But getting up early is not really a problem in itself, is it? The problem is that I also enjoy having that "me time" at night, so I stay up too late after the kids go to bed—way too late...
So every day I get up early.
And every night I stay up too late.
And both of these things worked fine for a while—years, in fact. But then I discovered something shocking:
I'm getting older.
And these three things—getting up early, staying up late, and aging—don't really mix. Sadly, I'm not in college anymore. I no longer have the ability to pull all-nighters and still function as a human being the next day. This thought makes me sad...
So I need advice. How do you order your day so that you still have time for the things you enjoy and want to do? How do you get all the necessary stuff done and still find time for yourself—and for sleep?
I really need to know the answer.
But right now I just need a nap.
Happy Thursday!
Oh yikes, this would catch up with me pretty quickly! I have a hard time without a full night's sleep. Unfortunately, I can't offer much advice because I don't have children and that probably makes quite a difference! haha! ;-)
ReplyDeleteJamie
http://chatterblossom.blogspot.com/
Yes, I had much more sleep before I had kids!
DeleteThanks for stopping by. :)
Good question, but I can't remember how I managed when my girls were young and at home. I'm pretty sure I never enforced a set bedtime or anything like that. But I can tell you, once your kids are gone, you can do as you please.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll sleep then. ;)
DeleteI think you need to admit to yourself that you can no longer continue to burn the candle at both ends. I remember going through the exact same thing when my kids were young. I started going to bed earlier and getting up really early - tinkling out of bed long before anyone was up - that became MY quiet time - which I guarded jealously :)
ReplyDeleteI think you're right. I've got to give up one or the other—getting up early or staying up late. I think my best bet is to do as you did and go to bed earlier. Now to make myself do it...
DeleteI know the problem, when my kids were small it used to be hectic and my wife would go to bed a short while after the kids, I would go out into the garage and work on the car I was restoring. I'd have friday afernoon and a couple of hours each evening. Took me four years to do something I do in six months as a youngster. Now I seem to spend half my night on my laptop blogging.
ReplyDeleteI do a lot of late-night blogging, too.
DeleteI think I need to take a cue from your wife and start going to bed earlier.
Laughed when I was reading this because that's exactly what I'm going through now. I think it's the getting old and sleepy syndrome. Not enough sleep at night and dosing off during the day. I find though that if I'm in bed by 11pm, I'm good to go at 5am. I so want to pull all-nighters but just can't do it anymore! LOL
ReplyDeleteI get up at 5:30. An 11 p.m. bedtime sounds much better than my current 12:30 or 1 a.m. :)
DeleteLike you, I enjoy my mornings. So I get up early every morning. I especially love a quiet Saturday morning before the kids get up. I don't stay up late. Old age is taking over. Sometimes I fall asleep before my kids. lol. But the kids are teens now so I don't feel bad crashing before them.
ReplyDeleteI occasionally let a few chores go undone so I can enjoy my quiet time. And naps are good! Enjoy a guilt free nap whenever the need arises.
So many of you have said that you don't stay up late. I think I need to try that, even if it means just going to bed a few mintues earlier each night until I adjust.
DeleteI might take one of those naps today! :)
Even though I'm still in college, I need 6 hours of sleep a night at least or I'm dead.
ReplyDeleteI minimize my time online or doing non-important things. I take things in smaller amounts. I make checklists to motivate me to get things done. Nothing amazing, but it helps me.
These are good ideas. I especially like the one about taking things in smaller amounts. And I agree: lists are great!
DeleteWow, I feel like I could have written this post. I'm the same way, I love being up before everyone else, but I love having a few hours for me and my husband after the kids go to bed. Since the arrival of our daughter, our schedule is turned on its head anyway.
ReplyDeleteI keep a list of 3 Most Important Tasks, if I get those done during the day, I can consider it a success. Then I don't feel that nagging when I spend time reading or watching a movie. I also look at sleep time as quality time, so I really try to make space for it.
I love the list idea! (I adore lists!)
DeleteSleep really is important, as I'm learning more and more every day. I need to call it what you do—quality time—and start trying to get more of it. Thanks!
not getting enough sleep can feel like a hangover, esp as we get older. i read it in prevention mag, but i feel that way too.
ReplyDeletei do the same thing. and i have to get up early on week days to work or ge kids on early bus... but i do love that late night quiet time! only bits & pieces during day. i avg 5-6 hrs during week.
try to set a time limit and go to bed, it's healthier. =)
That's exactly how I feel sometimes—like I have a hangover. Ugh.
DeleteMy husband is a night owl too, and he's always tired. Maybe I can convince him that we both need more sleep.
I wish there was more time in a day to get things done. If I'm not careful, I end up staying up too late, too. Just go to bed at 11:00 (or earlier). You'll feel better with more sleep.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll try 11:30 tonight and see how that goes. Thanks. :)
DeleteHey Dana, I have the exact same problem!! And I stay up because I think I'm going to get things done, but then I'm tired, so I don't really. And then I plan to get up early and am too tired to, so then am later. And I'm just like you, I love to have quiet, me-time in the morning so I need to find a way to get enough sleep. Isn't it lovely to sit with a cup of coffee, really early and just read or write. I heard that the hours you sleep before midnight are better quality than those after midnight, but I'm not sure how that works... Maybe you could try this website, http://sleepyti.me/, apparently it figures out the best time to wake up in your sleep cycle. Might be worth a try :)
ReplyDeleteIt's the same with me: Even though I stay up late, I don't always get things done.
DeleteI'll take a look at that site. Thanks. :)
Aww...the joys of sleep. I do not get up early...but staying up late (really late) is my downfall. Once the house is quiet and everyone is in bed, I become productive (well, some days- others i just veg and watch tv) Then all of a sudden it is well past mid night. I'm not even sure I know what sleep is any more...If you find out any great solutions- let me know. Happy napping! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I did manage a fifteen-minute nap this afternoon. :)
DeleteI'll keep you posted about solutions. Let me know if you come up with any. :)
Sleeping has to be a priority for me because I am evil without it. In my case it's housework that has to give when I'm deep in the middle of a writing project. Luckily #2 son is at the age where he thinks vacuuming is fun :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, I let the housework go, too. There's no way I could invite anyone over right now. I've got to do something about that...
DeleteIt's tricky to work out. I love my "me time" too. I'm unhappy if I don't get enough and I'm also unhappy if I don't get enough sleep. My "me time" is very little these days. Sometimes it drives me up a wall. I keep telling myself it will be different in a few years when the boy starts kindergarten full time. If you're lucky, you have friends and family to help take care of the family and give you some quiet time. I don't have anyone here, so I just have to stick it out and sometimes nap so I can have my nights!
ReplyDeleteNo friends or family here either, so I understand how you feel. I'm thinking I'll have to let go of my late nights and focus on getting to bed early so that I can get up long before everyone else. I'm usually more creative in the morning, anyway.
DeleteGood luck finding your "me time"!
I stay up late most nights because I'm afraid I won't get up in the morning.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Carpe diem, Al!
Deletesleep is good, I don't get enough myself
ReplyDeleteI'm going to shoot for an earlier bedtime tonight. We'll see how that goes...
DeleteHere's hoping you get some sleep. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteThanks. It'll be hard, but I'm going to try. :)
DeleteBut you seem like a strong-willed and productive gal. I have no doubt that you'll tackle this challenge.
DeleteSleep Well & Boogie Boogie.
Thanks. I appreciate the support. :)
DeleteWelcome to my world, Dana. I truly "get" what you are saying though my kids are grown up, but I too like my quiet time. I had it before hubby quit his job and we moved down to be closer to his parents; now he's home when it used to be my quiet time (mornings before I started work, lunch time). I've been struggling for two years to try to find that time and I feel I keep slipping further away from it. I've learned to be flexible and sometimes I have to just accept the fact I'm not going to have the time I want on a particular day. It is a struggle though....
ReplyDeletebetty
It really is a struggle. Sometimes I'm desperate for time to myself; I'm sure you probably feel the same way from time to time. Good luck to us! :)
DeleteThe night thing has SO become a bad habit for me! I'm writing this at 1 am! I don't have any quiet until after midnight, it seems. Stupid! And I'm getting older too - surprise! I drag through the day, crash about 3 pm for a quick doze, and then....I'm up until after midnight again! OK. I'm going to bed now. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou sound a lot like me!
DeleteI've got to do something. Sleepwalking through the day is getting old...
Ditto on your whole post. Did you find that magical answer in your comments? I skimmed thru but didn't see any. I suppose there isn't. Except go to bed earlier. :)
ReplyDeleteI've been starting my day earlier. About 40 minutes before kids wake up. That's the time I do stuff like this.Check out blogs and e-mail. Now that I'm used to it, it's not so bad. But a year ago, getting up 40 min before I had to... now way.
I feel better just knowing that I'm not alone. :)
DeleteI did go to bed earlier last night, but I feel the same today: tired and draggy. My plan is to start getting to bed at a decent hour so that I can get up even earlier than I already do. The morning hours seem to work best for me as far as productivity goes. Glad to hear starting the day earlier is working for you!
Let me know if you find these answers! I think this is a huge problem for most stay-at-home moms (I'm not sure about the working ones, but I'm pretty sure it applies too). We spend our whole day wiping noses and butts (or working with people who probably need their noses and butts wiped too) and taking care of others, so when the house is quiet we just want OUR time. Time we were never denied until little people came and took it over.
ReplyDeleteIt starts as late nights, and while I have NEVER got out of bed before I had to (especially after only a few hours' sleep) I can totally see wanting the mornings to be established before the kids enter the picture. It is a hard line to draw, but if it helps at all I found out that the more emotionally and physically healthy I was, the more I wanted to go to bed earlier, and the easier it was to get up earlier.
I would say to pick one. Either your mornings or your evenings. Decide what is important for you to do: stay up late and be alone, watching your shows or reading, OR get up early and have your mental break time to write and enjoy your coffee. I would assume that the mornings are the better choice since they are an overall healthier choice that lend themselves to your emotional well-being, but I don't think you can pick both. However, if you can sneak in an afternoon cat nap (less than 30 minutes) it should rejuvenate you to be able to do both.
Just remember, when you get actually OLD, your body won't require as much sleep. But at that time your kids will be out of the house and adults, so just enjoy this time and don't beat yourself up because this is all a season in your life and before long you will have all the time in the world to do as you please.
And I know that when the day comes that my time is my own again, I'll be sad. I'm sure I'll want the kids back. :)
ReplyDeleteI've chosen to try to give up my late nights. I also think that exercising will help. When I was walking on the treadmill regularly, I was more tired at night, and when I went to bed, I always slept well.
Thanks for the advice. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have bouts of insomnia which isn't voluntary which started mid 40's. My doc told me it is one of the symptoms of peri menopause. Now I am full blown menopausal and it happens more than I'd like it to. I know you probably don't want to hear that either!
ReplyDeleteGetting older... Ugh. (But better than the alternative!)
DeleteI don't have insomnia, thankfully. I sleep fine; it's just that I go to bed too late and get up too early, leaving myself only four or five hours a night. My lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me! :)
Oh, I wish I could get by on that little sleep. I need at least seven hours to function properly. More is even better.
ReplyDeleteAnd to answer your question: I don't. I don't get everything done. I just do the best I can and don't waste additional time beating myself up. Identify those things you won't negotiate on and then cut from other places.
Good luck!
That's good advice. I do have a tendency to beat myself up about the things I don't get done. I need to work on that...
DeleteHappy weekend!
I always had to have my alone time, too. Without my time to refuel and recharge I start to feel really off and ungrounded. But burning the candle at both ends catches up to you, yes. I think you'll have to choose which alone time you really like better--morning or night--and just do one. Maybe even switch them up if you get bored or miss the other too much...like one month or two and then switch. You'll really be able to tell which one you prefer that way if you try them out. You might even find you prefer one or the other at different times of the year. I had to make the same choice when my son was little.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I agree--don't worry about getting everything done. Dust never goes away--LOL! Play with the kids more and do minimal housework! ;)
I'm more productive in the early morning, so I've been working on getting to bed earlier. It's been hard; I do love that quiet time after the kids go to bed. Still, I know that I'll be healthier in the long run if I make the effort to get more sleep.
DeleteThanks for that advice about playing with the kids and doing less around the house! I'll have to show it to my husband. ;)
This is something that I constantly struggle with. Even though I don't have kids I am bad to over schedule and commit to more than I can realistically accomplish. I'm working on learning to evaluate things and say no to the things that are less important to me, or that I don't really want to do at all. I'm also slowly learning that not everything has to be perfect for the world to continue turning.
ReplyDeleteThat last one you mentioned—learning that you don't have to do everything perfectly—is one of my struggles, too. It's a tough one; I've been working on it for years...
DeleteHoping that this is our year. :)